When Dad got sick, my only prayer was this: “God, please heal my Dad. I can’t go on without him.” And I was right. After Dad’s death, all I wanted to do was give up. I didn’t know how to pick myself up from the pain I felt. I cried to God for strength day and night but it didn’t seem to make any difference – I was still hurting.
Before all this, since my grandfather died, I was already struggling with school. I couldn’t make myself study as much as I used to. In fact, I failed more exams this year than all the past exams I failed from grade school to college combined.
God knows how many times I felt like quitting, but every single time I was about to, He proves to me that He is my strength. I watched Him sustain me every single day, and every Sabbath I looked back and asked myself, “How did I make it through another week?”
Yet, here I am, finishing off the semester, having no one else to praise but God alone.
I remember praying this at the start of my 2nd year: “God, I don’t want to waste another year in pursuit of my dreams alone. I want to experience you this school year like never before.” And I did. As much as death and pain became so real to me, so did God. How I wish I could put into words how real God is to me right now!
God is a personal God. He hears our prayers, and He knows just what we need. He may not answer the way we expect Him to, but I tell you, He never disappoints. When I spoke that in prayer, all I wanted was consistency in my Bible study and prayer life, but God gave me so much more than that – He gave me a testimony to share.
The Bible says,
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” [2 Corinthians 12:9,10]
Our weakness is God’s avenue to reveal His power in us that, as it written, he who glories, may glory in the Lord. My failures made me feel inadequate, but just when I realized my nothingness, that’s when I fully understood the magnitude of God’s strength and witnessed His mighty deliverance.
God is so good, and I don’t know any other way say it. His goodness overwhelms me, and I can’t help but share it.